The Gospel According to Io

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 21:52:06 GMT

The prospect of pursuing higher learning is daunting. When I graduated high school (mine has it's own wikipedia, which feels odd to me) some years ago I opted to postpone college in lieu of a "real world" education. My reasoning was that while my peers were buried in books, I'd be learning applicable, real, helpful skills: living alone, paying bills, working. But now that I'm finally (I'm talking like I'm an old woman here, when I'm not even 25 yet) ready to go back to school and pursue something I'm passionate about, it's, well, like I said, it's daunting.

I admire people that jumped right into school. For me though, I don't know, I couldn't decide what I wanted to dedicate four (or six, or eight) years of my 20s to studying. I'd have been one of those students that switched majors at least once a year. I'd hate to put all that work into a degree that was never used. But still, college bound friends warn me how fiercely competitive it can be, and how stressful it is. These things I can handle; I'm nothing if not relentless. But, see, I'm terribly un-school-spirited. My loyalty to organizations wavers at best.

I don't know. It feels like taking a step back at this point.

15.57

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 03:10:10 GMT

...everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be more lovely than you are now. We will never be here again.

elvis source of hope eternal

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 05:56:16 GMT

and after a week of sitting around, it's back into the fray for the kid.

someone hold my hand, will you please?

you'll save so much time

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 06:30:11 GMT

Seven interests meme.

anonymity / I think there's something to be said for maintaining a sense of mystery; especially considering the intrusive and information driven culture we've become. Maybe it's a good thing those high school rock star fantasies never played out. I'd have ended up like Britney.

being free / I feel chained, trapped. I don't feel free. I constantly feel like I'm just a cog in some larger machine that I'll never escape. People the project an air of personal freedom interest me.

grey skies / Grey skies are calm, changing. A grey sky is like walking on a fence. Things can go either direction at any moment.

minimalism / There are 16 grandchildren on my father's side. I happen to be the oldest, as well as the only girl. After twenty-three Christmas' of delicate heirlooms and photo albums and mementos, I embrace minimalism with arms wide open. Nothing is static, and it's nice to remind myself of that by purging the unnecessary things in my life.

solidness / Whether we're talking about colors or emotions, I relate solidness to conviction. Conviction is the single most attractive and inspiring characteristic for me.

independent media / Biased. I worked for an indie publishing company in Seattle. Before then I'd never considered the importance of independent media coming through independent channels from free-thinking minds. I suppose this relates to being free/solidness.

linguistics / Languages and the way people speak fascinate me. Verbal communication is, well, I mean, it's the easiest and quickest way to communicate with others, but it's also wide open for misinterpretation.

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:40:52 GMT

what if at the end of the day everything really is illusory? how do we define what means something, anything, everything, nothing?

this world and the other are the same

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 22:55:20 GMT

Oh, here I am.

I (and when I say I, I mean we, and when I say we, I mean my father and I) left Seattle Friday morning around eleven. Straight through, what's the point in justifying the cost of a hotel room for a 14 hour drive I kept saying. So, after 14 turned into 18, after seeing one day melt into the next, we reach the end of our "quick drive" right as the sun is coming up.

It's nice to be back in the desert. The heat is dry, excessive, bearable. I missed the anonymity of a small town. Cortney will be flying down in a couple of weeks. She's a Texas girl living in the Seattle suburbs; I don't think she's ever been to the area before. Maybe we'll take her to the flats. I haven't seen any of my old friends yet, though. I haven't even unpacked my car.

I'd forgotten how difficult it is to find fresh produce out here. The nearest Whole Foods is overpriced and an hour and a half away. I don't think Trader Joe's even exists in this area. And farmer's markets? Two hours away. Not complaining though. We do what we can. It's difficult to maintain a vegetarian diet out here. This is cattle country.

And also, a quick hello, nice to pseudo-meet you to the new friends on the f-list. I promise, I'm generally more interesting than this. Pictures to come, and a much more me-like layout when I can summon the patience to work with dial-up. Such is the bane of my donner-party-esque existence.

'night-night

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 03:39:46 GMT

Okay, seriously? Stop leaving those notes under my door. It's seriously creeping me the fuck out.

carve your name into my arm

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 05:00:10 GMT

stranger (five or six feet away): wow, you have some blue eyes, don't ya?
*nods* yes, ma'am.
stranger: bright as hell. beautiful.

electronic media, subgenre distinctions, and training your own replacement

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:58:23 GMT

B&H launched a new website this week. I don't use my real name at work, so I suppose I don't mind having a little "about me" posted, but all the same. Google has two (count 'em: one, two) search results on said pseudonym. Anonymity is a beautiful thing.

Latona (the latinization of Leto, from Greek mythology) was one of Zeus' many, many mistresses. Together, they begat (I love that word) the twins, Artemis and Apollo, known as the two "most beautiful, shining children on all the earth".

Day 3: macrovision

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:38:48 GMT

Day 3: macrovision
Originally uploaded by beneaththeburn

IDK.

Today, I just, don't know. I'm too anxious to sort myself.

Can I Say

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 05:43:27 GMT

Sometimes you sit back and nod, like they have a very valid point.

Yes, of course. I absolutely know what you mean.

And other times you say no, that's not right.

I don't agree with you. You've got it all wrong.

It's not about right and wrong. Can't they see that? It's about the interaction.

And sometimes, you don't even agree with your own argument. Don't they understand? You're a catalyst. You argue the point and sometimes you raise your voice, but you're doing it for them.

These are life lessons, man. I’m doing you a favor.

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:09:31 GMT

“For the last time, pal, you’ve got it all wrong,” I say. “It’s not about who sacks the hottest broad, and it’s not about who’s got the best grades in this goddamned reformatory for trust fund kids like us.”

He's squaring off with me like he’s taking it real personal, the way my kid brother does when I won’t play catch with him. “Then what is it all about, wise guy?”

I mean, this guy, he’s got his priorities all wrong. “What’s the point of all of this garbage, anyway?” I ask him. “To come home with some fancy paper proving our parents spent a small country’s budget to hole us up in this place for four years?”

All of a sudden his shoulders drop and he‘s grinning like a damned circus clown. “You really oughta lighten up, kid. You take everything so goddamned seriously.” He turns to hang up his jacket, shaking his head and laughing, while I’m just standing there.

“Well, I’ll tell you, thanks but no thanks,” I’m trying like an idiot to find words that’ll give me some leverage. “I’ve got a world to conquer. I can’t let something like a sense of humor get in my way.”

amazing because it is

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:06:46 GMT

Inspire me with love for my art and for thy creatures. In the sufferer let me see only the human being.

The days are too long, the nights are too short, the streetlights are too bright.

Somewhere between here and there and never.

I'm kind of afraid of being, you know, perpetually stuck in the middle.

but, not yet.

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:40:26 GMT

I suppose I should start writing again.

One man's subtle is another's sub-text.

he is the lamb, she is the slaughter

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:31:55 GMT

Two and a half weeks is not a very long time.

But, my god.

I think I'll have dinner with Mr. Tzu tonight at the new Indian restaurant.

owing the greatest of debt

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 06:52:59 GMT

Sit as little as possible. Give no credence to any thought that was not born outdoors while moving about freely.

I want nothing to do with the day-to-day, or staying in one place for any longer than bearable. I'd live in and out of airports and motels, given the choice.

I have no contracts with any person; I have no commitments or other obligations to fulfill. I have only restless, memory driven determination and curiosity.

He says it was born into me - that I get it from my mother, who never lived in any one place for more than a year until she was 30. That even though I had a wonderful, stable, loving childhood, that I have the heart of an explorer, born into an era that's nowhere left to explore.

Three weeks, and I'll be trading in my umbrella for sunscreen once more. Summer there, winter here, and everywhere in between.

and one for the antagonist

Wed, 28 May 2008 05:12:25 GMT

well, why not?

this place has such a prepossessing cadence after dark.

extrication vs. denial

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 21:40:17 GMT

i suppose here,now is as good a place,time as any.

here's to reinvention, hmm?